Starting therapy can bring up lots of feelings
Arriving for a first therapy session can bring up lots of feelings, whether therapy is completely unfamiliar to you or you are beginning again with a different therapist. You may feel daunted, overwhelmed, nervous, hopeful, curious, or a mixture of things that feel hard to name. Whatever you feel can be welcome in the room.
You may also have questions whizzing around in your mind. What will my therapist ask me? Will I have to explain everything straight away? Where should I begin?
These questions are understandable. They may even be your body and mind’s way of trying to manage the uncertainty of entering into something new.
You do not need to know where to begin
Some people arrive at therapy with a clear reason for being there. Others may have more of a sense that something feels difficult, stuck, heavy, or hard to make sense of.
You do not need to arrive with a perfect explanation of what is going on. Part of therapy can be learning how to become more curious about yourself, your feelings, your relationships, and the patterns that may be shaping your life.
A first therapy session is often a starting point. It is the beginning of a relationship, rather than a moment where everything needs to be understood or explained at once.
Depending on the communication you have already had with your therapist, they may want to understand a little about your background, what has brought you to therapy, and what you might hope to gain from starting therapy.
What you want from therapy may become clearer as the work unfolds; the first session does not need to define the whole course of therapy.
Practical details and questions
Your therapist may spend a little more time than usual in the first session talking through practical details. This might include confidentiality, fees, cancellation policy, contact between sessions, and how future sessions would work.
These practical details are not separate from the therapy. They help make the work feel clearer, safer, and more settled between you.
The first session is not only for your therapist to get to know you. It is also for you to get a sense of them. You might want to ask what therapy usually looks like with them, how their sessions are structured, whether they tend to offer short-term or longer-term work, or what confidentiality really means.
You may have practical questions, questions about their approach, or only realise what you wanted to ask once you are in the room or reflecting after the session.
You do not have to share everything at once
Your first session does not demand that you disclose everything immediately. You can choose what you share.
Some things may take time to say. Others may not feel clear yet, or may only begin to find words as the relationship develops.
“Some things may take time to say. Others may not feel clear yet, or may only begin to find words as the relationship develops.”
Trust can take time to build, and it is okay for what you share to move at a pace that feels manageable. Going very deep very quickly can sometimes feel like the “right” thing to do, but for some people it may later feel exposing or unsettling.
In therapy, it can be helpful to notice not only what you share, but how it feels to share it.
How you might feel afterwards
There is no single reaction you are supposed to have after your first therapy session.
You may feel relieved, tired, awkward, lighter, thoughtful, emotional, or unsure. You may not quite know how you feel yet.
Notice these things if you can. You might want to write them down, or simply hold them in mind. How you feel after a first session can become a useful and reflective conversation to bring to your next session.
Deciding whether it feels right
The relationship between you and your therapist is an important part of the work. Feeling respected, heard, and safe enough matters hugely.
You are allowed to take your own response seriously. After a first session, you may feel ready to continue, need some time to think, or realise the therapist does not feel like quite the right fit.
Where possible, it can be valuable to talk with your therapist about how you are feeling about returning. This can sometimes become part of the work itself. But ultimately, it is your decision whether you continue.
Starting therapy can feel like a big step, and your first session is one part of that step. Whether you are beginning therapy in person, starting counselling online, or meeting a new therapist for the first time, the first session does not have to answer everything.
It can simply be a place to begin, ask questions, and take the next step at your own pace.
