Deciding to start therapy can feel like a big and significant step. You might feel ready, uncertain, nervous, hopeful, or a mixture of all of those things.
The next part is finding a therapist who feels right for you.
Brighton & Hove has a vast community of therapists, each bringing their own approach, style and way of working. Having so much choice can be helpful, but it can also feel overwhelming, particularly if you don’t know exactly what type of therapy or therapist you’re looking for.
I hope this article helps to normalise that uncertainty and gives you a few ways to narrow your search, even if only slightly.
You don’t need a clear reason for starting therapy
You don’t need to arrive at therapy with one specific reason or a particular thing you want to ‘fix’.
You might be experiencing grief or anxiety. You may want to explore your relationships with family, partners or friends, or understand yourself more fully. You might not completely know why you’re looking for therapy, but recognise that something feels more difficult than you would like it to.
Not knowing exactly what you need doesn’t mean you aren’t ready to begin. Understanding what has brought you to therapy can become part of the work itself.
Start with the practicalities
Thinking about what you need practically can narrow your search quite quickly.
Would you prefer to meet your therapist in person or online? Is the accessibility of their therapy space important? What can you comfortably afford, considering therapy is likely to be a regular expense?
When looking for a therapist in Brighton & Hove, it may also help to think about how far you can realistically travel each week. Would you prefer somewhere in central Brighton or Hove, close to home or work, or near a particular bus route or train station? A therapist may feel like a good fit, but the arrangement also needs to be manageable in practice.
It is also worth thinking about when you are available and whether this matches the therapist’s working hours. You may find someone whose profile really speaks to you, but if you need an evening appointment and they only work during the day, it may not be a realistic fit.
You may also have preferences around a therapist’s gender, age, identity, background or experience, particularly if these would help you feel safer or more able to speak openly.
Notice who you feel drawn to
Once you have narrowed things down practically, notice what happens when you look through therapists’ profiles.
How do you feel when you look at their photograph or read what they have written about themselves? Do they sound too clinical for you, or not clinical enough? Do they seem warm, and is warmth something you are looking for?
There isn’t necessarily a correct reason to choose one therapist over another. You may simply find yourself pausing on one profile or feeling curious about one person’s way of describing their work.
Overall, do they feel like someone you could imagine talking honestly with?
The relationship matters
A therapist’s training and experience are important, but so is the relationship between you.
Therapy can involve discomfort, anger, uncertainty and messiness. You should be able to bring those feelings into the room without being judged or dismissed.
That does not mean you will always feel completely understood, or that therapy will always feel comfortable. There may be moments when something your therapist says does not sit well with you, or when you feel disconnected from them.
What matters is whether there is enough trust for this to be talked about. A good therapist should be willing to listen, take your experience seriously and explore what has happened between you.
Finding a good fit does not necessarily mean finding someone who always says the right thing, but someone with whom it feels possible to be honest.
Check their training and registration
It is important to check that a therapist is appropriately trained, insured and registered with a recognised professional body.
The titles ‘therapist’ and ‘counsellor’ are not legally protected in the UK, meaning that someone can use them without completing a recognised professional training.
Professional bodies such as the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) and the UK Council for Psychotherapy (UKCP) have public registers where you can check a therapist’s professional status.
Directories such as Counselling Directory and Psychology Today can be useful places to begin your search. There are also directories focused specifically on the local area, including Brighton & Hove Therapy Hub and Brighton Counselling Directory. Wherever you search, it is still worth checking a therapist’s qualifications and professional registration yourself.
Make use of an initial conversation
Many therapists offer a free or reduced-cost introductory call or first session. This gives both of you an opportunity to get a sense of whether working together might feel right.
You can ask anything that would help you decide. You might want to know what happens in the first session, how the therapist generally works, whether they have experience of supporting people with something similar, or what their cancellation policy is.
You can also pay attention to how you feel during the conversation. Do you feel listened to? Do you feel rushed? Does their way of speaking help you feel more at ease, or does something not quite sit right?
You are allowed to speak to more than one therapist before deciding. Comparing a few conversations may help you notice what feels important to you.
There may not be one perfect choice
Finding a therapist is a personal decision, but you do not need to feel completely certain before you begin.
It may help to decide on your practical non-negotiables, shortlist a small number of appropriately trained therapists and arrange one or two introductory conversations.
“There is unlikely to be one perfect choice, but there may be someone who feels like the right place to start.”
If working with a therapist does not end up feeling helpful, it does not mean you have ‘failed’ at therapy. You may choose to talk with them about what is not working, or you may decide to look for someone else.
With so many counsellors and therapists working across Brighton & Hove, as well as online, begin by considering what matters to you, what will work realistically week to week, and who feels like someone you could begin talking with.